


Forest Fires

by OhHELLyeah



Category: Original Work
Genre: Drabble, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29864715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhHELLyeah/pseuds/OhHELLyeah
Summary: Between two people, a fire, and their shadows.





	Forest Fires

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: it do be cringe doe
> 
> feel free to throw a critical bone at me of whatever I am just merely vibing here B)

"Once more the gnawing beast that resides inside me is chewing on my ribs trying to get out from the depths of myself. The dead that piled up from years of killing your wants are becoming food and stairs for the beast to feed and trample on. No longer can I hold back the monster, no longer can I suppress my rawest self, untamed and uncollared. Whatever comes next is not me, and whatever I say does not yield to my words, the evil inside is nothing but a shadow that every being has, but I have no control of. Forgive me of what's to come and be quick with your blade when it needs to be unsheathed. The light is fading from my eyes, but the darkness is waning for the beast. Goodbye and I’m sorry."

"Fear not of the darkness, of your growing pains. Mine has been cultivated, sowed accordingly. Planted and trimmed to be the perfect shadow of myself. I pull out the weeds that hinders my perfect silhouette, and I trim the excess fat from my thighs. Yes, it is indeed the perfect mirror of my soul, my being, and my essence. What is it you say before, about the beast gnawing on the prison bars you’ve made? Mine has been neutered, collared, and tagged, stripped away from it’s dignity and declawed for my pleasure. It yields to me, I am it’s monster. You say that you have no control over yourself, I call bluff. I hold every power over my darkest desires and I have trained it to bite who I want to. And yet, you cry and wail about it eating you up. You feed it your dead selves and ask yourself “How did it get so big?” I can only wonder why. Would you blame the world again for your rampage, saying that society keeps killing you and it’s not your fault you keep hiding the bodies away inside the belly of the beast? How dare you wash your hands of the blood you’ve shed! Your blade reeks of dead bodies and yet you want me to sully my own? Let it eat you up. Maybe then the beast will have more control over itself."

"You don’t understand. It’s not easy, you know. I’ve tried collars and I’ve tried tasers, but it only keeps getting stronger. I cannot hold on to the rope I’ve tied to its neck, and it's burning my arm just by holding on to it. You say you cut your beast and let it bleed? I can barely put a scratch on that thing! It’s been living wild in my heart for so long, and only now I know that it should’ve been subdued before it could even learn to walk. It is not fair to compare yourself to me, you, who had known their entire life of their sins. I only know the concept of sin after I’ve met you, and yet, you hold the same standard for me? I ask only for help. I know my ways aren’t perfect and I am closer to death than life, but just once. I ask you to make me bleed."

"Make you bleed, you say? And then what? Your shadow is uncontrollable and harming it would only harm you. Do you not understand? I’ve controlled it for I have controlled myself. I am operating in full awareness of my being, my actions. You hide in your ignorance, in your willful stupidity. Hide all you like, just know that you can’t hide from your own monstrosity. You cut and hurt the monster yet not know you are one and the same. Your pain has been growing and it has manifested itself into a wildfire, searing your heart and skin into a burning red. You’re standing in the middle of the flames, unaware you’re burning. Now all the pain that you forgot to feel comes rushing all at once. No wonder you start biting when someone’s too close. You have never had a day in your life where the flames have been quenched. And when it’s over, you’re dry, charred, and hollow. What will you do with yourself then? You’ll no longer have the energy to be your own pyre. What then?"

"I have not been burning, I don’t believe it. I’m as perfectly fine as you are, though I do have some faults. But I refuse to believe that. Am I? Have I been in a burning forest? Did I start the fire? And if I’m here, then where are you? Are you far away from me? Is that why I can’t reach you?"

"I am in your arms length, but I only realized I’ve stepped in the fire after I’m burnt. I am here now, in the darkened parts of the trees. The fire has calmed down, centered in your own body, but I fear you will be gone soon. How did you manage to live like this? Have there been others before me that you lured with your pity? Is that why the fire lasted this long? Has the monster long consumed your old self, who is it in front of me? Who am I talking to?"

"I can’t see you, it’s dark. Am I still burning? I can’t feel the fire on my skin. I am still me, but I fear it won’t last long. Maybe I am just too self destructive. Maybe the beast’s only interest is my safety. I feel like that’s why it bites me when I try to harm it, am I a danger to myself? And to others? Maybe the victims I’ve dragged here were for my own hunger. Would you want to stay with me till the fire is out and the beast takes over?"

"I’ve stayed too long to leave now. I would like to see how it ends."

"That’s nice. You know, you still can stop me from doing anything to you."

"No, it’s fine. I think I’m tired of controlling myself too much. Maybe I’ll try succumbing to my wants for once."

"Me too."


End file.
